Can stay-at-home Dads be “real men”?

I guess I came in late for this controversy: from 2008 there’s a YouTube clip of a famous preacher and his wife, responding to the question: “What are your thoughts on stay at home dads if the woman really wants to work?”[1]

“Too many guys take too little responsibility” was part of the answer, one with which I fully resonate. We have a culture where men play at being boys well into their adult years. At a time when their fathers and grandfathers had buckled down to marriage and a job or were off fighting Nazis, some guys focus on playing the field or playing paintball until they’re, well, practically my age. The women are complaining and they oughta be. These guys need to hear a Word about their behavior.

But let’s put them to one side, since the gist of their response was something else: If men are not the primary bread-winners in the family, they are not doing “what the Word says.” Parenting must be done principally by the mother, not just “anyone,” not even the father. The idea of a father staying at home to focus on raising children is a perverted idea, taken from our modern culture, not the Bible. These men are “conformed to this world.” Such behavior would even by “a case for church discipline.”

Okay, let’s see “what the Word says.” (more…)

Where is MY special someone?? [Studies in 1 Corinthians]

The New Testament gives no formula for choosing a husband or wife. Yes, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul speaks a widow who wishes to marry ‘is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord,’ that is, only if the new husband is a Christian. Apart from the instruction that Paul gives in that chapter is directed to very specific questions about singleness and marriage. He does not offer a full set of rules. In short, the apostles are concerned that we marry a Christian and that we live righteously within marriage; they say nothing about how to figure out which Christian to marry. In the first century and in many cultures, it is not the young people who decide on a mate, but rather parents or other members of the family or tribe. In many Latino cultures up to the 20th century the Catholic church used to require for example signed permission from both fathers.

The Western church of today adds to the apostolic teaching and at times sets it aside. Christians have adopted a romantic view of marriage that has more to do with 19th century philosophy and Hollywood movies than the New Testament. What comes out is the assumption that there is a special someone for everybody, that you have to find just the right person, that marriage vows are not as important as following your heart.

Despite the single story of Rebecca in Genesis 24:10-21, God never promises in his Word to give us a special revelation to show whom we should marry. (more…)

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